The problem of “trying to protect your little girl”.

Children, to most of us, are a blessing. From the moment they’re born until they lose their first tooth, until their first day in high school and until they gave you grandchildren, you watch them grow and become attached to them.

Unfortunately, some parents take this concept a bit too far, the concept of I love you too much, that is.

I guess this can be applied to many, many situations, but is a real problem for girls (or any closeted afab people) even in rich countries, in the twenty-first century. I’m taking this from a Desi-Muslim perspective, but if you have a similar experience, feel free to discuss below.

So, let’s start.

To my dear sisters and brethren, do any of these following quotes seem familiar to you?

You can’t go there, there’s too many men (or women).

Girls aren’t supposed to go alone.

Girls shouldn’t go late at night.

You’re my only son.

You need a wahi, girls can’t go alone. It’s unsafe.

You can’t sleep over with your cousins – you don’t need to.

Any female should live with their parents until they get married, that’s when they are in the supervision of their husband.

You need your father or husband’s permission to do (…..).

Let me tell you this right now, this is very problematic. It helps the problem, not break it.

An assaulter would prefer to assault a group of very vulnerable people, then assault a person who looks like a threat/dangerous/strong/independent. It also implies the fault relies within those who are assaulted, than the assaulter.

This kind of possessive and overprotective behaviour is still going on, and it does not do a single thing to help. It makes the child more vulnerable, weaker and easier to assault.Would you care for a demonstration with an analogy?

A virus has broken out. Instead of getting an immunisation which requires exposure to the virus, you keep your child away from those who have the virus. Your child isn’t getting stronger – and you know exactly how diseases work. Once you have caught a virus, your memory B and T cells memorise the antibodies it needs to produce to destroy the pathogen quicker the second time the situation rises. Whether or not you are aware, you suddenly die, leaving your child alone in this virus-ridden suburb. Your child never received help, nor witnessed anything that might help them out in their situation (ie vaccination), so in the end they have become a victim anyway and was always a target, and in the end, getting the worst end of the stick.

It may look ridiculous on how the situation could happen, but it did in the past all the way back in England where scientists were often ridiculed for finding cures other than ‘through God’, and was very toxic indeed. Diseases were RAMPANT and I mean RAMPANT for a century or so, however refusal to accept the situation of the Englishmen and royals led to their dark ages.

Analogies aren’t perfect, but the fact you only make your child MORE vulnerable by shutting them away from society is something many still refuse today.

Refusing to socialise your children or letting them go by themselves make them more vulnerable, confused and unfamiliar once they are by themselves. I’m not saying to let your 6 year old have a career, but I mean an adequate exposure to you know, prepare them for the real world once they take care of themselves. Go on how much you will get your daughter a ‘a nice husband’ to take care of her, but when the husband ends up abusive, or the husband dies, or the husband disappears, or the husband doesn’t like her any more, the husband barely comes home and other situations that arise, your daughter will have NO IDEA, NO STRATEGY and NO HOPE with her situation. Tell me, how the hell is your daughter protected now? You made her life even more lethal and depressing!

Refusing your child to talk to the opposite sex or not letting your daughter go out without you hanging on her arse every second and altogether the development of their individuality is toxic, doesn’t help and in the end makes them a better target.

Life is always about risk, our dear prophets have straightened our faith by taking risks, discoveries have been made due to risk, and risks have lessened their threat and eventually no threat. There is a reason why animals keep their young until they reach an age and depending on the animal, the parent may either stick around sometimes (eventually less when the young gets older) or fully alone.

There’s a difference between protection and possessiveness.

Double Standards

It is completely okay for a man to condemn a woman trying to marry a non-Muslim man even if he is a believer when they claim men can marry non-Muslim women. It is completely okay for a man to have four wives because “He can’t satisfy himself with one wife”. When the man is a homosexual however, it is TOTALLY wrong. Too lustful, too perverted, destructive to family life, even more so than four wives, according to our lovely “scholars” of Islam.

Women don’t get as lustful as men. They don’t need 4 partners or ’71 virgins’. But homosexual women? Abomination due to the perverse nature! Cover up in front of a lesbian because you’ll never know what she would do to you (I thought women weren’t lusty creatures oops). [It also gets on my nerves that whenever these ‘scholars’ justify a man can have four wives, they say how women outnumber men and homosexual men make it more difficult. Homosexual and asexual women exist, not to mention people who might have been female at birth don’t recognise with the female gender identity]

The Bible is wrong, Torat is wrong. They have been changed too many times. Too many divisions within their societies. They’re modified to satisfy cultural expectations of the time. Yet we believe in hadith, no matter how superficial a lot of the articles are. Not to mention Muslims are believing the Biblical theory of Eve being made from Adam’s ribs (Correction: early stages of fetus the fetus is ‘half female’, not a rib).

It’s justifiable to hate another religious community when we have traitors in our own community, taking our sadaqah for their own worldly benefit or greed, taking our trusts, dehumanising people who aren’t “Muslim enough”.

A woman can’t go outside alone while a man can because she can get hurt by other men. I’m pretty sure if you reverse the roles, everyone would be safe either way. Are you sure it hasn’t been men all this time because male domination wants it this way?

Artists can’t draw because they are “challenging God’s power to create”, yet these patriarchal leaders are challenging God’s book.

The double standards are so ridiculous I am baffled why majority of people don’t find faults within them.

About the LGBT+ movie Stonewall…

…Black erasure re-surfaces again, among with many other thingssafe_image

How long must LGBT movies should be about struggle and not eye-candy to heterosexual audiences?

How long should we wait for the LGBT+ for it to cater other than the L’s and the G’s?

How long should it be that LGBT+ people of other races and religious groups be recognised?

Leelah’s Alcorn story did break my heart on how vicious life can be to a transgender and everyone acknowledged that. But how come nobody brought up Eylul Cansin? Is it because she is Turkish? Eylul faced just as much as Leelah – rejection, marginalisation, outcasted and additionally faced forced prostitution, all while being able to accept that religion didn’t cause such atrocities but hatred?

I don’t mean to say x is more important than y, but why is x more acknowledged than y? Why is y being erased?

Muslim LGBT+ people are both targeted by Muslims and the LGBT+ people. Their condition worsened with race and status. Where do they go?

I read an article about Why Gay Imams Are Better. The article goes in-depth, turning actual accounts of hadith and past events, as well as truths about this awful patriarchal system that Muslims accuse Islam being of. Yet, the comment section is appalling. It is suddenly justified to not being able to bury your brother because of his orientation. It is suddenly okay that 5% of your Ummah should be silenced, rejected, hated or even killed. It is suddenly okay to turn away from the truth. It is okay to hate your own Ummah. Your own community.

Historical colonisations and influences should not be an excuse to hate your own Ummah.

Homosexuality was legalised in the Ottoman Empire and was barely a punishment prior to the legalisation. It is not a Western thing. In fact, it is the West that brought you the hatred against queers, and now is claiming they are open about it. 

The world is a scary place now for both LGBT and Muslims. Turning them down is also turning yourself down, since you are rejecting a part of you and what you believe in.

Its almost the end of Ramadan

Its almost the end of the Holy Month of Ramadan and Muslim organisations are already planning out what to do for the Eid-ul-Fitr prayer.

I was just doing some grocery shopping with my mum and saw a flier in one of these “gatherings” for Eid prayers. What irked the hell out of me is that out of the two Eid – ul – Fitr prayer conventions, one had “special congregation for women!” in a form of white text on top of a red star.

I don’t know how I can say it nicely.

On a time of happiness and unity that Allah called everyone to do, but there should be a “special congregation” for women, half of your Ummah.

For a community that claims Islam is about unity and treating everyone with respect, you sure love disconnecting more than half of your Ummah and can only grant theirs for “special” times well because Muslim men are obviously more important than any other groups.

On what is a “Kafir” and whats not.

Kafir.

A term that is supposed to be very ordinary, now I despise it.

Kafir is thrown around just about anywhere to excuse a superior/inferior complex of someone. “Halloween is a kafir thing.” “Live around kafirs, you become one.” “It’s the kafirs that practice such horrid things!”. It’s all an attempt to make a superior culture, exactly what the Nazis did.

Kafir is a pretty neutral term, disbeliever. At this point, you can disbelieve anything. You can be a kafir when it comes to Darwinism, or a kafir when it comes to the greatness of capitalism. In the Quran, it is usually used for atheists or pagans.

naming things “kafir” and “Kufr” is often a one trick pony for hierarchal leaders to get their way because it has such an awful meaning.

Little that we know, Modern Day Muslims took these ideas from “Kafirs”:

– Hatred against Queers

– Burying or aborting based on sex (usually female)

– Women not going outside

– Women not doing work

– Women can’t get education

– Expressing lust

– Xenophobia

and much more.

I am a very lazy person, but you get the point.

Also this applies with “Haram” too.

Oh and Ramadan Mubarak.

Why

Why must every one of us condemn what happened in the past decade when the Australian government can’t apologise what happened (and happening) for the past 250 years?

The other side of the Pashtun “Bacha Posh”

It is unfortunate some girls need to dress up as boys in order to honour their family.

However, Nusrat is definitely a trans person, or in a more recent event, a little boy named Khan.

News sources like this claiming (or at least implying) crossdressing daughters (and afab sons) has caused gender dysphoria and “made them into men”.

The Western media love getting only one side of the story, but some medium in the Muslim communities aren’t any different.

Pashtun Transmen exist. You just made some of their lives easier.